This Simple Tip Helped My Anxiety!

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EQ Applied by Justin Bariso is a book highly relevant to the reality we live in today and offers so much value.

There are many topics and tips covered in this book. But I want to discuss one I thought was super relatable, and share how I personally applied it. The advice is a simple solution but as we all know, things are easier said than done, and this case is no exception. But still this tip was a great takeaway that is easy to remember and very applicable. Are you anxious to get to the point? Here we go. :-p

Change “I’m nervous” to “I’m excited!” —Allow me to further explain.

I (thankfully) am not a person who experiences a great deal of anxiety. However, I do understand a lot of people do suffer from this, sometimes on a daily basis. And just like others, when anxiety strikes, it hits me hard. I get emotional, fumble my words and don’t take the kinds of actions I wish I had. Probably similar to Britney Spears shaving her head in 2007 and thinking back, I shouldn’t have done that.

Just kidding. Brittney’s my bitch.

For my personal examples, I chose occurrences that typically give me and others (I think) anxiety, and tested them out. Dating and business meetings.

Specifically, going on a date with someone I actually like and am attracted to. I am not a person who dates often. I have to talk myself into going on them for the sake of being more social and allowing myself to be vulnerable and open. Most of the time I don’t have romantic feelings for them anyway. But when I do find someone i like, I get nervous and work myself up. Then it spirals, I clam up while being on the date and they never get to see who I really am. Then I go home with even more anxiety convinced that I’m going to die alone. Blah Blah Blah.

Or probably my better example, pitching to a new potential client. This requires me to not only put myself out there, but to do it confidently. I am still fairly young and new to the business world so I get a lot of anxiety trying to be bold and present myself properly.

Basically, anxiety is a self-sabotaging awful feeling for all of us. Though, if we choose to avoid these situations, that means we are not growing either.

"If you’re feeling nervous before engaging in some activity, categorize those feelings not as harmful anxiety (“Oh no, I’m doomed!”) but instead as helpful anticipation (“I’m energized and ready to go!”)."

Anxiety strikes and the familiar uncomfortable physical reactions take over. Recognize it, focus, and changed it in your mind. Or, re-labeled it. Change “I’m nervous” or “I’m anxious” to “I’m excited!” When we are excited about an event or outcome our bodies have a very similar physical reaction as anxiety. But when it is something we are looking forward to, we are less likely to shy away from it. By re-labeling this physical reaction to something you are excited about, your thoughts change. You are in control, you begin to spiral upward instead of down.

When testing this advice for myself, I noticed a huge shift in the way I acted. I wasn’t picturing my worst case scenario drop kicking me in the face.

I stood up straighter, was smiling more, and was able to focus on the other person instead of being highly aware of how insecure I felt. I was letting events unfold naturally and going with the flow. Though, in my experience at least, I still had to work to stay focused. Don’t let the words of anxiety or fear creep back in and poison your progress.

A close friend of mine recently said to me, we must advocate for what we want. And this is so true! No matter how uncomfortable it may feel. Facing this reality forced me to think, and I realized that all the things I told myself before were merely excuses. —If the guy liked me enough, he would make the effort. If I’m meant to be in this business, it will come to me.— These ideas sometimes can be helpful coping mechanisms in a grandeur picture, however they are not useful for the everyday efforts that are SUPER important for us to take.

Working at them each day, or any chance we get will indubitably make these occurrences of anxiety easier to handle. Practice over time will form new habits literally changing the neuroplasticity in our brains. Justin Bariso explains this in more depth in the novel. But with the growth mindset, we can positively morph ourselves.

"While you may be born with certain innate talents or aptitudes, it is experience, training, and personal effort that can help you become the person you want to become."

EQ Applied is a short book but one to read slowly and with intention. I loved it and highly recommend it to everyone, not just people who experience anxiety.

I’m super curious if this advice was useful for anyone else. LIKE if you are a person who struggles with anxiety and found this helpful. Or COMMENT and share your experience with me!

Written while watching Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande Music Videos. Big Booty like Nicki? Or tight and firm like Ariana?